I learned something. I learned something very important, it may have been something I always knew but when it came to light, I realized the importance of it. It's no secret that I am going through a rather "challenging" time (let's say). I think that as we all know, challenging times in our lives feel very lonely and isolated. It's a lot of people telling you "it will be okay" "or this will pass", kind words but words we hear many times and, although they are said to make us feel better or remind of us that things will pass, they don't really make you feel anything. What I learned was this and it's two people that share in this gift. First is my sister Lauren. When I texted her the last time with a few sentences of "how it was really going" her response was "oh no, what are we going to?" What are "we" going to do. It was like someone was actually feeling and sharing in my burden. The hope and strength of knowing that family is out there, although very far away, was so comforting and warm. It meant everything to me. The other is my friend Becky. Becky and I have been internet friends for many years now. I have a love for Becky's soul and I can't explain it. For some reason, I just know that she is out there. When I posted my last blog of my unemployment woes Becky's response was "how can I help you from over here". Again, such a warm and soulful feeling of knowing someone would reach out and help me if I asked. Just the knowing is that all that needed. That's what I learned. I learned that when people are going through whatever they are going through, saying "it will pass" or "bummer" should be "how can WE fix this?" "how can I help". It's a game changer. My lesson is learned and I will move forward carrying it and understanding better. Thank you both.

Saturday

So my last post was Day 2 of unemployment. Posting today, it has now been one year. January 2012 was when I was laid off of my job. I was reading the "stories of the unemployed" on Huffington Post the other day and totally related. Some days you wake up and think "this will be the day" and you attack your job searching tasks with eagerness and a positive outlook while other days are "why bother" and "I give up". The fact of the matter is you can't give up. This week alone I have applied to 14 jobs. Not a typo - FOURTEEN. What is crazy is that some of the ways that companies have you apply is a very, very lengthy process. What's worse, is when you take the 25 minutes to complete their complicated application process and then you push "apply" or "send" and it comes up with some internal error so when you go back, all information gone! What is really disheartening is when I do get an interview and the woman told me she received 117 resumes. Most companies don't even bother to respond that they received your application/resume. Oh, oh - here's something that you may not know - there are scumbags out there that prey on the unemployed! They post fake jobs, you apply to them, then they send you a great offer, and then try to steal your identity (not that my identity is worth stealing these days). I received one the other day (they found my resume on a job posting site like Monster) and said "we will pay you $300 a week to wrap your car in an advertisement." I Googled that and found out the scam was that they would send you a check for over the $300 (an advanced payment) as well as an additional payment for the Graphic Designer. You are supposed to Western Union the additional monies to this address they provide. You guessed it, the check is no good and you are out the money you sent. I Google everything that comes my way and found out that there are actually these people who think that the unemployed are great targets. So wrong, so very wrong. I have certainly re-certified my thinking of "you are NOT what you do, you are who you are" but today I figured out that this is who I am now (in no particular order): - the janitor - the maid (housekeeping, can I come in?) - the koi pond maintenance engineer (have kept those 3 suckers alive which isn't easy I tell you) - the dog trainer (Bailey - great, Lola - naughty) - the dog waste picker upper (I'm #1 in the #2 business) - contract negotiator (lawn man, I'm broke, don't come as often please) - swimming pool cleaner - swimming pool maintenance engineer - chef - fast food cook - dishwasher - errand runner - doctor - laundry lady - lawn maintenance engineer (with a Masters in weed pulling) - veterinarian (I even pulled a long, rope-like, waste cover thing out of a big dog's butt) - neighborhood watch person (hey, strange truck at your house) - package receiver (yea, they aren't home, I'll sign for it) I often wonder how all this got done when I left for work at 7:00 am and arrived back at 5:30 pm. I guess it didn't, or it was jammed into weekends. The biggest thing about unemployment is - it is very lonely. My conversations are with the pharmacist or the check out person at the grocery store. When Kyle comes home from school I beg for conversation with an update on his day but being a 17 year old teenager I get "fine", "okay", "I dunno". I think that I am a little surprised by my past work "friends". Certain relationships that I had there I thought for sure would stay and be more than the work friend. It was, for about one month after my job ended. I don't hear from any of them now, at all. The ones that I do hear from that check in on me periodically were the ones that I never expected to keep in contact. Who knew? Okay, so one year and counting. This will end very soon, let's all be certain of that. Something has got to give. Be certain though, I am on a tough road right now but it is not tough enough to stop me from laughing, singing, dancing while I clean, and appreciating a day for what it is. January I started my Grateful Journal listing five things I'm grateful for (periodically - wish I could say I do it daily but um, nope). I do it at a grateful journal site (it's kept private). I like it, it keeps you focused on what is important. If you read this (and I'm not sure who does anymore since it's been so long) I would love for you to leave a comment. Hey, contact is contact right? Keeping centered for now..love,love, love.

Unemployment - Day 2 (actual)

Finding being home by myself isolating and lonely. I realized going work was actually quite social, hearing about weekends, milestones in children's lives, and then being cut off from everyone and everything. Wandered around a lot in the morning and found myself talking out loud to Bailey (the dog). Finally around noon-ish I settled on cleaning K's room. Took two hours of de-whatever that is in a teenager's room but was quite satisfying once completed. Weekend is here so - PEOPLE!!

Unemployment - Day 2

So having been laid off my job of over five years, today is Day 2 of unemployment. Day 1 (obviously yesterday) was a little hard to explain. I slept in until 7:00 (a full 45 minutes later than a workday) then I seem to roam around the house. Doing nothing. Looking at stuff kind of like I'd never seen it before. I sat on a bench in the backyard for a while watching the dogs. Then i decided I should actually "do something". I dusted the living room and then grabbed the vacuum. This was when I decided I needed sweatpants. If I was going to hang around the house I needed something to wear and wearing my nightie all day made me look, well, unproductive. I headed off with hot little Kohl's credit card in search of sweatpants. I found out that NOBODY is shopping at 1:30-ish in the afternoon. The store is ghost town. Meandered around there for a while - bought the pants, a shirt for Kyle, a new nightie (on sale of course) and new shoes (oops). I did try to do my "making the meals since I'm home thing" which was only a 50% failure - or 50% success. I did baked, from scratch mac and cheese but that's all. Dinner is...this side dish. Baby steps...baby steps...
Okay here comes day 2.

Happy Sunday

I kind of feel like this today.

Postings

This blog site has a feature that, when I post, it sends you an email usually with the whole blog in it. I am going to disable this feature (after this post) for a variety of reasons, but one being that blog comments are going into my email instead of being posted as comments on the blog. At the blog site you can "subscribe to posts" which will notify you of postings instead. (Credit: my cool friend Becky).
In the meantime, you can awwwwww over this kitten.

Orange You Glad

Okay - an orange gator! I thought the pink dolphin was something, but now an ORANGE gator. Someone snapped this pic of it sunning itself. They don't know if it's albino or something in the environment changed its color, but it's ORANGE.

Ridding the House of Christmas

Since it is the first Christmas in the new house, it seemed like such a fabulous idea to really decorate it up! Three trees! The big one in the living room, a little one in the doorway and a medium one in the dining room. Christmas "stuff" everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE. You know what sucks? Taking it all down. Putting it away so it doesn't break. There is always more to put away than when you started. It's brutal. Someone should start a service where they come to your house and rid it of everything Christmas while you are out at lunch. I'd so pay for that.

Happy New Year's Eve

Be safe - it's New Year's Eve aka Amateur Night. I have a crockpot with a cornbeef brisket cookin' and pumper/rye combo bread (with Swiss) for heavenly sandwiches tonight. It has definitely warmed up here, we have five nights of a hard freeze but are expecting 70+ degree weather so it will be perfect to de-Christmas-ize the house. It's going to look BARE with this stuff all gets packed away.
Where ever you may be celebrating I send you love and well wishes for 2011.
xoxoxo

2011 - Back to Bloggin'

I've decided for 2011 I should go back to Blogging. More adventures with the new house, more company comes over, more fun happens, not to mention the new digital/video camera! Okay.. I'm back on the 1st!!

The Weather in Jacksonville

Random People

Who is this you ask? No idea. We were sitting at a table at an outside bar on Duval Street and this gal literally "fell into the bar" ::man down!:: She let me take her picture as the "drunkest girl I saw on vacation". so there you go. Am I going to need a lawyer?

 

He Banked

This guy sat on different corners every night and told "Dirty Jokes for $1.00 and Up" because he "needed beer money". See all the bills in his hand? Trust me.. he banked.

 

The Perfect Sunset Picture

Taken by Me!

We're Back - Here's some pics!!

See Ya Soon!

Gone for While!!

Waited to Long For Service

Brilliant - who hasn't been tempted to do this! Love the underline in mustard.


Where Are The Dogs Humping.com

Scratching my head

So I was watching Larry King the other night ::ahem:: (nothing on) and it was on UFO's. Some woman from Canada called in (bless her heart, love Canada!) and her question to the panelists of UFO hunters/searchers was "So if UFO's are time travelling to come back and warn us of our mistakes, and they are from the future, how could you ever contact them?"

Love that question.

The Birthday Cake

So my boss is one of those women that LOVES LOVES LOVES shoes and she LOVES LOVES LOVES the animal print pattern stuff. So.. this is the birtday cake that I had made for her.